But you know what it’s missing? The zest. The fire. The controversy. You know what this industry really needs?
More politics.
Yeah, I said it. Why spend your days writing policies and protecting families when you could be inserting your wildly polarizing personal beliefs into every single client interaction? Welcome to the new era of sales strategy: The Politically-Charged Producer™.
First things first: let’s talk about your website. Ditch that generic “We care about your future” copy and replace it with a huge banner that says:
“We only insure patriots – everyone else can go cry into their oat milk.”
Go big or go home.
Now, when you sit down for a prospecting call, forget coverage limits and deductibles. Start with the important stuff. Ask them:
“So… who did you vote for in the last election?”
This is the ultimate qualifier. If they say the wrong name (you know the one), just slam that laptop shut and move on to someone with values. This isn't about closing business, it's about closing ranks.
While we’re at it, it’s time to reveal your own political allegiance – loudly, proudly, and repeatedly. Don’t be subtle. Wear the T-shirt, decorate your office, answer the phone with “Let’s go, [insert political hero's name]!” Make sure everyone knows that not only are you the best insurance agent in town, but also the unofficial campaign manager for your favorite elected official.
And who is your favorite politician? Easy. [Insert the most controversial name possible here – you know who it is.] The one who causes Facebook comment sections to explode like a fireworks stand hit by lightning. That’s your guy. Or gal. Or conspiracy-laced hologram.
You’re not just selling policies anymore – you’re selling ideology.
Now let’s talk about your team. You don’t want just any CSRs answering the phone. You want people who can recite your favorite politician’s speech verbatim while quoting your agency’s umbrella limits. Bonus points if they argue with clients in the breakroom about gas stoves and voter fraud. Remember: culture matters.
Client gifts? Replace those tired calendars with signed copies of controversial autobiographies. Forget “thank you” cards – send a copy of your latest political blog post. Every touchpoint should be dripping in bias and hot takes.
And marketing? Oh, you’re gonna crush it. Sponsored ads that say things like:
“Want life insurance AND to trigger your liberal neighbor? Call me.”
or
“If you believe in family values, lower premiums, and outlawing tofu, I’m your guy.”
Imagine the engagement!
Oh, sure, the compliance department might "raise concerns." Ignore them. That’s just Big Insurance trying to silence your truth.
And yes, there’s a small chance you’ll alienate half your book of business, spark a few online riots, and maybe get banned from LinkedIn groups. But let’s be real – can you put a price on conviction?
Actually, yes. You can. It’s your renewal commission. And it’s gone.
APRIL FOOLS!
Please – for the love of risk management, don’t do any of that.
Bringing politics into your agency is a one-way ticket to awkward client conversations, fractured relationships, lost referrals, and overall professional chaos. Yes, we all have beliefs. Some are deep. Some are loud. Some make Thanksgiving really weird. But unless your agency is literally a PAC (and if it is, wow, that’s a niche), politics should stay far away from your professional brand.
Insurance is about trust. It’s about protecting people and their families. And trust is a fragile thing – it can be shattered by a single careless comment about tax brackets or climate policy.
Here’s the truth: your clients don’t care who you vote for. They care if you answer the phone. They care if their claim gets paid. They care if their policy makes sense. Serve everyone well, and let your political beliefs stay where they belong: in the voting booth, your dinner table, or the group chat you probably shouldn’t be in.
So go ahead – be passionate. Be involved. March, vote, post, debate. Just don’t drag your politics into your pipeline.
Because at the end of the day, you’re not running for office.
You’re running a business.
And your clients didn’t elect you – they hired you.