Ah yes. Welcome to the magical world of insurance—where leads fall from the sky, carriers hand out 35% commissions like candy, and objections don’t exist because every prospect is rational, emotionally intelligent, and super excited to buy a product they don’t understand with money they don’t want to spend.
If you’ve ever said this job was hard? First of all—how dare you. Second—maybe it’s time you accept the hard truth: you’re probably just not cut out for this incredibly simple, totally stress-free, cakewalk of a career.
Because according to the people on the internet who’ve never sold a policy in their life... being an insurance agent is easy.
And if you're struggling, it's clearly because you haven't tapped into your inner Sales Jedi, properly manifested your commissions, or read enough LinkedIn posts about success mindsets.
Let’s break down this laughably easy profession you’re clearly overcomplicating.
Every morning, after your morning yoga and gratitude journaling session, your inbox is already overflowing with people who want nothing more than to give you their personal info and credit card numbers.
No ads. No outreach. No cold calling. Just a steady stream of unicorn clients with 850 credit, no claims, 2.5 kids, and a deep, burning desire to compare medical payments limits with you on their lunch break.
And if you do run ads? Just throw $5 at Facebook and boom—142 leads by lunchtime. Every single one of them homebound, gainfully employed, license-having, decision-making, appointment-keeping adults who were born to shop insurance and want you to be their forever agent.
If that’s not happening for you? It’s probably because you didn’t believe in yourself hard enough. Or maybe your headshot doesn’t scream trust me with your entire financial future the way it should.
Let’s be honest—closing should be at 85%, bare minimum. Honestly, if you’re not closing 9 out of 10 people you talk to, you should probably reconsider your life choices.
People need insurance. It's not optional. So they’re basically handing you a sale on a silver platter and saying, “Please, protect me from risk while offering incredible customer service at 3 a.m. when I text you about windshield repair.”
And objections? Those aren’t real. Objections are just code for “I need you to ask me for the sale more confidently while making deep, unwavering eye contact.”
If someone says they want to think about it? They’re really just testing your ability to say, “That’s exactly what people tell me right before they buy—what card do you want to use today?”
There’s a secret handshake you didn’t learn yet. Because all the seasoned agents—you know, the ones with the fancy watches and the passive-aggressive Facebook posts about their “freedom lifestyle”—are pulling 30%+ on auto and home.
You just have to “know the right people,” unlock the right bonus level, and whisper the sacred phrase to your carrier rep:
"My book is clean, my loss ratio is divine, and I once sacrificed a goat to the underwriting gods. Show me the 35%."
If you’re not seeing those commissions? It’s not the market. It’s not your region. It’s your vibes.
Why are you wasting time explaining deductibles, liability limits, or how collision differs from comprehensive? Just tell them this:
“Full coverage means your car is insured for literally every single scenario you can dream up, including alien abductions, lightning strikes from alternate timelines, and minor scuffs from parking lot rage incidents involving sentient shopping carts.”
If they look confused, that’s on them. Just say, “It’s full. Trust me.” Then upsell an umbrella and a burial plan before they can ask about rental reimbursement.
Every single claim is smooth, stress-free, and results in heartfelt thank-you notes from clients. They understand depreciation. They love their deductible. They’re grateful the check went to the mortgage company. They insist on paying out of pocket for that “act of God” clause they forgot to read.
In fact, claims are such a breeze that adjusters send you cookies afterward and clients ask if they can leave a review before they’ve even cashed the check.
Carriers don’t change. They love you. You’re family. So when they change your compensation, pull out of your state, decline your entire book because of a “new appetite,” or drop a five-page guideline update on a Saturday night, it’s clearly because they just want to challenge you and help you grow.
They’re not breaking up with you. They’re teaching you to fly.
Let’s not forget the best part of the insurance game—residuals. Clients stay with you forever. They see that 37% premium increase and say, “Totally fair. I love paying more for the same thing.”
No remarketing. No loyalty issues. No competitors calling. Just sweet, sweet renewal money raining down like manna from heaven while you sip a cold drink poolside.
If you’ve ever sat at your desk wondering why your calendar is empty, your prospects ghosted, your retention dropped, and your motivation left the building… clearly you just need to toughen up and hustle harder. Right?
APRIL FOOLS.
Let’s be real. This business is brutal. It's full-contact sales. It’s emotional. It’s unpredictable. It’ll make you question your worth, your sanity, and your career choices at least once a week.
But you show up anyway.
You fight for your clients even when they don’t understand what you’re doing behind the scenes. You chase every renewal like your name’s on the line—because it is. You keep learning. You keep building. You keep going.
So if you're feeling tired? It's not because you're weak. It's because you're doing something hard. Something most people wouldn’t last a month doing.
And if you are still waiting on those 30% P&C commissions to roll in? Well, check your spam folder. That’s where the magic lives.
Now get out there. Shake it off. Laugh a little. And keep going.
Because no matter how wild this business gets… we were built for it.